Bread and Butter

Can you remember your first moment in life where you felt a deep, visceral fear? I do. I was a six-year-old in a church basement during a tornado watch. That's not true. It was a tornado warning. Sirens. Pounding. Darkness. Shuffling feet in the basement of a (very small) Victory Baptist Church. Quite honestly, I don't remember where my parents were. All I recall is the fear. My blood pressure. My beating heart. Shivering (hard) when it wasn't cold. I was going to die, for sure.  I felt like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, staring face first into the mouth of a raging tornado. Fear is the underlining emotion that shaped my early, middle, and late childhood up until my early adulthood. Fear. Why so afraid? In recent months, I have been making an effort to find the source of this baseline fear. It could be the terrorism (literally) that occurred on September 11, 2001. That is one of my earliest memories. Strangely, I wasn't afraid. I was almost 4 when it happened, so it...

There's this phenomenon in life, I've noticed, where you can't help but look around and note those ahead of you. Maybe it's financially. It seems by the homes, wardrobes, and vacations of strangers and acquaintances that they absolutely have more money. Or maybe it's career. Perhaps your friends from high school, or really good friends, have a nice title at the end of their name. Doctor, Lawyer, Director, or just cut and paste any high earning field. I've found that I don't care about these things (money and titles) when I'm truly happy. I only spiral when I've had a bad review, a set of unexpected bills, or a less than perfect grade. It is then I question all aspects of my life. "Why didn't I choose 'x' career," "Why didn't I work harder," "Why am I such a loser"(yikes). Why do I care so much? It's funny. When we leave our previous life-that of childhood under the wing of our parents-we tend to look...

Here are some life lessons, along with some harmful beliefs that I internalized over the course of my youth. These lessons came largely from the real or perceived teachings (you decide) of Evangelical Christianity. Before you make assumptions: I am not an atheist and do not believe organized religion is inherently bad. I am merely a person who has experienced a slew of health issues, ones that have brought a series of hospitalizations that carried over from the age of 13 up until my early twenties. This is not a dig at faith, at least not in the way you think. If you happen to know me (or even if you don't) you may wonder why I am putting these words out in this way. You see, I only recently have come to find peace and happiness in my life. After reflecting on my youth and revisiting old journals, I came to realize some things. These beliefs I upheld--whether accurately or properly received from Christian messages-- aided in my chronic anxiety, eating disorders, and later, a drug ...

I'm a person who likes simplicity. To me, simplicity's akin to peace and harmony. I strive for simplicity in most areas of my life. I like a schedule, a routine, my morning coffee, and my comfy pajamas.  Naturally, when I heard the concept of a limited palette, I was intrigued. I first learned about using a limited color palette in my Painting class in college. It's a novel idea... "more colors doesn't mean better." (What?!) For those who don't know, a limited palette means limiting the number colors you use to bare essentials. This is my first EVER color study using the limited color theory. Let's all thank my Professor, Tamera, for this amazing project! It tuned out beautiful if I do say so myself.  (For those who are curious, I used Burnt Sienna, Cadmium Red, Yellow Ochre, and Cobalt Blue.) Why Adopt a Limited Pallet? This way of painting is considered a "less is more" approach. It's like cooking from scratch or following a diet. When ...

Teacher Life This year marks my first time working as a FULL time Art Teacher. I have always believed teaching to be rigorous, but not to the point where all I have time for at the end of the day is laundry, dinner, and maybe sleep. (Maybe) As a Teacher, particularly an Art Teacher, you are firing on all cylinders - constantly. You are asking yourself, "What should I teach?" "How should I teach it?" "What connections can I make?" "What strategies can I include?" In this particular job, you are a writer, manager, coordinator, designer, and art specialist.  It's as if you have your own studio practice, but it has now extended to over 488 students. If I could give myself attention 488 times out of the week, I would be the most productive, efficient artist of all time. I'd be Picasso. Pablo Picasso in his Cannes studio, 1956. Photograph: Arnold Newman/Getty Images My point is this: as a Teacher, much of your energy is spent setting your stude...

I have been painting with oils for over a decade and I absolutely hate the color black. In my entire career as an oil painter I have never once bought black paint, ever. I love dark values and I love contrast, but you will never see me using black in any of my paintings.  You might be asking yourself, " Why would a self identified painter disregard such a basic color?  Well, I am a very stubborn painter, and old habits die hard.  Particularly, old comments from my 5th grade art teacher. As an eleven year old, my favorite art teacher, Miss Patty, taught me two things: mix your own blacks , and never use paint out of the tube . I was conditioned from an early age to mix my own black, and I still do to this day.  Why painters mix black It is a very "painterly" thing to mix your own blacks. But why do painters do this? Painters mix their own blacks to create a cohesive pallet. Black is a very harsh color, and it tends to overshadow the nuances of color.  Utilizing...